In 2019, it’s not uncommon to hear about brides who place demanding requests on people involved in their weddings — from bridesmaids who have been asked lose baby weight, to party guests who have been asked to leave after arriving in military uniforms.
Now, one person is sharing another example on Reddit. On Saturday, Redditor Strict_Mastodon said they will be a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding, and said they were asked by the bride to wear a wig because their hair is short and won’t match other women in the group.
The bridesmaid said they refused, as it might imply that they “look bad” with short hair. Still, the Redditor said the bride and other members of her bridal party disagree. Now, other Redditors are debating the topic, and most seem to agree with the bridesmaid.
“One of my good friends is getting married in August, and she chose me to be one of her bridesmaids,” the Redditor wrote. “Everything had been cool, she’s always been the sweetest person, and she showed no signs of going Bridezilla before this, until she called me up about three weeks ago and asked me if I could do her a favor and wear a wig to her wedding.”
“She explained that she wanted all of her bridesmaids to match and that she wanted us all to look good in the pictures,” they continued. “I told her I really didn’t want to get a wig, and we’ve been on bad terms ever since.”
The Redditor, who says they’ll soon be a bridesmaid, is refusing to wear a wig for multiple reasons
Redditor Strict_Mastodon said they’re refusing to wear a wig for three main reasons. They said that finding a realistic wig can not only be expensive, but also that wearing extra hair at an August wedding on a Louisiana plantation could feel hot and uncomfortable.
Strict_Mastodon added they thought the bride asking them to wear a wig could imply that they “look bad” with short hair, and noted that the bride likely wouldn’t “make her balding father wear a toupee.”
To compromise with the bride, the user said they offered to wear a headscarf, or grow their hair into a pixie cut.
The bride and other members of the bridal party feel the request isn’t unreasonable, according to the Redditor
“All of our friends are on [the bride’s] side because ‘it’s just a wig’ and ‘it’s not like she’s asking you to grow out your hair for the wedding, so she’s not the one being unreasonable,'” the Redditor said.
The user also said the bride will not “pay or reimburse” the bridesmaid for the wig, neither fully or partially.
In response, many Redditors said the bride and her bridal party are out of line
“You shouldn’t have to change your appearance to be part of a wedding,” Redditor lenachristinawrote. “Your friend knew the deal when she asked you. Demanding you do something other than wear a specific dress and shoes is bridezilla IMO.”
“I will never understand people who think their wedding parties are props — this is about sharing a special moment with your closest friends,” Redditor MichaelIArchangelwrote.
Amy Shey Jacobs, a wedding planner and founder of Chandelier Events, told INSIDER that this bride’s request ‘crosses the line’
Speaking to INSIDER, wedding planner Amy Shey Jacobs of Chandelier Events said “brides should be sensitive” when asking favors and requests of their bridal party.
“If the bride has asked a friend to be in her bridal party, it is generally because they have a very close relationship, albeit a friend, sister, cousin, in-law, or the like,” Shey Jacobs told INSIDER. “And of course, every bride wants their wedding party to look amazing in the photos.”
“Asking a bridesmaid to wear a particular dress or giving your bridal party a style direction is part of the tradition —and one I find my brides are actually being less strict with recently,” she continued. “But when a bride asks a friend to alter their look in an inauthentic way (such as wearing a wig because her hair is too short), it crosses the line to hurting someone’s feelings.”
Instead, Shey Jacobs recommends that brides give “style guidance” to their bridal parties, and “offer to pay” for hair and makeup services if they want their bridesmaids to “look a particular way.” Shey Jacobs also says that being sensitive to your bridesmaids is key, as “the quest for the most Instagrammable photos might hurt someone’s feelings if you go too far.”
Reddit user Strict_Mastodon did not immediately reply to INSIDER’s request for comment.